We get asked a lot if we have any tips or tricks on how to help someone improve their approach to dating using the Enneagram. While many things are universal, each type has some traps they tend to fall into when they’re on a date. Here are a few common type 6 traps.

1. Receiving before giving

Naturally self-protecting, Sixes often want to know a significant amount about their date before they’re comfortable revealing much about themselves.

Tip: Lean into your vulnerability. You have to give trust to get trust. Test the waters by revealing something vulnerable to see how they handle it. By revealing what’s in your heart, you’re giving you and your date the opportunity to connect more deeply.

2. Checking in too much

Sixes are naturally compassionate and want to make sure their date is okay. But they can go overboard, asking too often if everything is alright or if there’s something they want to say.

Tip: Assume the best. Too much checking in can communicate insecurity and reduce attraction. Assuming the best is often a self-fulling prophecy, and sometimes tension can even be a positive thing (e.g., sexual tension when neither of you is perfectly comfortable).

3. Engaging in protest behavior

When Sixes are upset about something, they may get testy, passive-aggressive, or withdrawn, hoping the other person will notice.

Tip: Communicate directly. Direct (and kind) communication is universally attractive. If your date does something that upsets you, stay connected to them while opening up a discussion in which you can both feel seen and understood.

In conclusion

With their playfulness and sense of responsibility, Sixes often already possess many of the qualities people look for in a partner. Using these three tips, Sixes can bring their best selves to the table, making them even more irresistible to the right person.